1985 School Magazine

THE TELEPHONE The telephone is a marvellous means of communication , the social link of every boarding house. This small invention can either make or break the gril. A person who cannot speak on the phone is a reject. There are various breeds of telephone talkers: there are the people that get bored of the conversation -they occupy the time they are on the phone by scribbling on the phone book, talking to people that are around the phone or rummaging through the desk drawers. Another more common breed is the aggressive telephone talker. The aggressive talker is usually disguised as a placid , mild-mannered girl who can rip apart a Grade Eight with her bare hands if perturbed , snarl at the innocent passerby and strangle a person who asks the talker to " hurry up and get off the phone" . Occasionally there is the emergence of the dying EMBARRASSMENT breed . This - occurs when there is a BOY on th e phone. The person on discovering who is actually on the other end of the phone slimes under the desk not to be sighted again until the phone calls is complete. The line to get to the phone is in itself an experience to be missed. If a girl wants to be first on the phone after dinner she must begin intensive training at once and be able to negotiate the dining room in less than 2.675 seconds to be even eligible to make fourteenth in the line. Many girls have undertaken this mission too soon in their boarding house career and have never been seen again.

The incoming phone is the B.G.G .S. equivalent to the local pin-ball parlour. All grades congregate around the phone and wait, patiently for the phone to ring and to be part of the traditional rush , crush and mush ceremony. This usually results in the death of the smallest person present, or the person trying to ring through hanging up. If a person makes it through the masses she picks up the phone amidst cheers and celebrations and then proceeds to garble the sacred words "Girls' Grammar Boarding House". When the latest sacrifice is decided by the party on the other phone th e lucky girl is summoned through the " yelling line", a complicated form of communication , somewhat like the tribal drum beating of Africa. This piece is designed to enlighten the ignorant so they can understand the reasons and subsequent excuses used to inform the party on the other line that the person cannot get through - so next time a boarder says " I couldn' t get through" you will know the girl did not make it across the dining room in 2.675 seconds, the line was too long or the sacred, elusive twenty cent piece could not be found - but that's another story ...

Cathie Peel Year 77

TO LIFE To waft like a clo ud o f dazz ling co lo urs,

To gaze at th e sunset - a wa rm earth y hue, To be moving around as free as th e sunlight, Like the Sun, and the Moon, and the Sta rs to be true. To fl y li ke th e w ind th ro ugh the trees of th e fo rest, To ga llop across the w ide open p lain, To ride at a w ill where crea tures are ca lling The love of a free l ife - of beauty unsla in. To sleep 'neath the stars of this beautifu l coun try ' The waves of the sea to comfo r t nearby, To ride day and nigh t w ith a good horse for fr iendship, I w ill roam this coun try I love 't il I d ie.

D iana Lohrisch Yea r 8

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