Semester 1 2024

BUILDING A CULTURE OF BELONGING AND THINKING IN HOUSE GROUP.

JANE MUIL, LILLEY HOUSE

Brown (2012) defines belonging as ‘the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us…. true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self acceptance’. According to the Search Institute (2018), ‘young people are more likely to grow up successfully when they experience developmental relationships with important people in their lives’. I believe that as a House Group (HG) teacher, I have a unique opportunity to build meaningful relationships with students. Everyone is different, some prefer to rest quietly in the shadows, and others vie for the limelight. I try to pick up on these cues and turn up for them in a way that may best suit their personality. I have one girl in my House Group who is very quiet, preferring to sit on her own and draw pictures. I’ve tried encouraging her to interact with the other girls in the HG and even tried encouraging the other girls to interact with her, but this led to her looking visibly uncomfortable as it must have felt forced to her. Instead, I now check in on her most mornings and ask her about her drawings, which she shows me with eagerness, and she has since started sharing them with some of the other girls in the HG. I believe that building developmental relationships takes time and patience, and there is no one-size-fits all approach.

At the start of every term, I reprint a list of all my students’ birthdays and bring a small treat to HG for them. It’s an inexpensive gesture but I believe it makes a difference in their attitude towards me and towards school. Several times throughout the term I organise a joint birthday celebration in the BFR for them. The HG captains create a birthday roster at the start of the year so that every student is assigned one person to bring a cake or treats for them on the day of their birthday celebration. I bring them little birthday hats that they wear and a speaker to play their favourite music. The girls have told me they very much look forward to these celebrations. When checking in with students on an individual basis in HG I note down important events of theirs to follow up on. For example, last year, two students were excitedly discussing their upcoming music recital. Hoping to boost their morale, I surprised them by turning up to it on the day, with a handmade poster with their names on it. They told me they were so touched by this. For the remainder of the year, we were in animated discussions about different musical pieces and film scores. Earlier this term, I discovered that one of my HG students had been selected to be the soloist for the Interhouse Choir Competition. I bought a small bunch of flowers and brought them to where I knew she sat with her friends before school. She was taken aback and appreciative; her friends patted her on the back and cheered for her, and the smile on her face was priceless! In my experience, fostering a sense of belonging requires more than a one-size-fits-all approach. It takes kindness, patience, understanding, and putting effort into remembering the little things: birthdays, special interests and events of significance. Showing up for students in a way that they feel heard and valued can be an unpredictable endeavour, but through trial and error and genuine effort, it can pay dividends in creating a HG environment of belonging.

REFERENCES: Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead . Avery. Search Institute (2018). Developmental Relationships Framework. https://www.search-institute.org/developmental-relationships/ developmental-relationships-framework/

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SCHOOL-WIDE PEDAGOGY NEWSLETTER SEMESTER 1 2024