2014 School Magazine

SO HE DIDN’T ASHLEY MCGREGOR (12L)

When Robert was twenty-one years old, he researched how to start a business, because that was his dream. When he told his mum, she smiled and gave him a pat on the back. That was the year his grandma was given chemotherapy, and he would visit her every month. And that was also the year he graduated from university with Mary. For the ceremony, he had written her a poem on how he felt about her, but as he went to give it to her, another boy with long brown hair and large blue eyes took her away. So he didn’t. Robert combs his fingers through his wiry hair and he sighs out of anger. He can recall this memory and the night that followed graduation when he cried himself to sleep. When Robert was twenty-five years old, he had scraped together enough money to start his business. His mum was proud that he had followed through and gave him champagne for luck. That was the year his grandma became very ill and he would catch the bus every Thursday to see her. And that was also the year he walked past a coffee shop window and Mary was sitting inside. Paralysed, he watched her calmly sip her coffee whilst reading a book. He had to do it. He had to go in and talk to her. But out of the corner of his eye, his bus was pulling up and he had to catch it to see his dying grandmother. So he didn’t. His eyes glaze over. Robert is motionless as he reminds himself of that lost opportunity. When Robert was thirty years old, his cake business became very successful. His mum would hug him, and tell all her friends about the shop. That was the year his grandma died and he spoke at her funeral. And that was also the year he delivered a cake to a wedding. As the wedding march played, he saw Mary walking down the aisle with her father. Robert’s palms were sweating, his stomach churned. The priest spoke ‘speak now, or forever hold your peace’. And in the silence that followed, Robert wanted to shout out! He looked at Mary’s overjoyed family, at her smug groom with his long brown hair and large blue eyes, and at her. He saw how happy they all were. So he didn’t. And as he thinks about this his hands are shaking, and tears stream down his face. Robert’s coffee has gone cold, because Mary’s name is written in the paper today — in the very back. The small black font evokes all the things he wishes he could have experienced with her; the things he wishes he could have said to her. But the writing confirms that he cannot. ■

Robert is eighty-four years old; he sits at his dining table and drinks his daily coffee, with The Courier Mail clenched in his fists. The traffic outside is humming; the morning sun is just visible through the sheer curtains. Having completed the crossword, Robert reads every section of the paper — his schedule isn’t as full as it used to be. When Robert was seven years old, he wrote a poem about firemen, because that was what he wanted to be when he grew up. When he showed it to his teacher, she gave him a gold star and his mum gave him a hug and framed it. That was also the year his grandma moved into a one-storey home, and he would visit her every weekend. And that was the year Robert noticed Mary in his class. She gave him a Valentine’s Day card with a big red heart on it. Robert wanted to write one back, but the other boys weren’t. So he didn’t. He remembers all this with a sad smile, because he had missed an opportunity to become great friends with Mary. When Robert was sixteen years old, he wrote an assignment on intermolecular bonding, because that was what his chemistry teacher told him to do. When he gave it to his teacher, he gave Robert an ‘A’ and his mum gave him $20. That was also the year his grandma had a hip replacement and he would visit her in hospital every weekend. And that was the year Mary and Robert would train at the same swimming club every Wednesday afternoon and go get ice creams together on Fridays. In December, Mary won Women’s Age Champion and when Robert went to congratulate her, his mum wanted to leave. So he didn’t. As he remembers this, he lies to himself thinking that he had to leave, and there was no chance he could have talked to Mary. When Robert was twenty years old, he studied gastronomy, because that was his favourite thing. When he told his mum, she laughed and said ‘you won’t have future with that career’. That was the year his grandma was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and she went into surgery. And that was also the year he saw Mary dressed up at a university party. His mind went silent, his heart was pounding and she was the focus of his gaze. As he walked across the room to compliment her, she was carried away by friends. So he didn’t. As he thinks of the party, Robert’s stomach drops because he wishes he had told her exactly what he thought that day.

This story was awarded second place in the IEUA — QNT, ETAQ and James Cook University Literary Competition in the Year 11-12 short story category.

CREATIONS / 057

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